Bonechilling Ideas Close Up

As frequent readers will know, I’ve had a few terrifying experiences that will some day be short stories.  The latest may be the bone-chilliest yet, though.  It all began with my spotting a wasp in the bathroom, where it clearly did not belong.  I fetched a rolled-up newspaper, as one does in these circumstances, and took a mighty swing.  The wasp completely disappeared, leading me to believe that I might have vaporized it, but I took a look around to see if its crippled form was staggering about somewhere.  I had just about given up on the search when it announced the fact that it had managed to make its way over from the wall to cling to my very clothes.  I managed to get clear of the creature by hurling the article of clothing it was on across the room (I won’t go into what this was).  Then I left for more clothes and a heavy pair of gloves, ready to deal with this wasp once and for all, only to find that it had disappeared, having survived a smack with a newspaper and a few rather frantic-barehanded slaps as well (this is why I don’t like wasps – I find it difficult to maintain my normal stoic mien when they land on me).

So now I’ve got the John McClane of wasps roaming my house, plotting revenge









I have dispatched my minions to deal with him, but I’m not particularly confident in their chances.  One of these days I’m going to get a bonechilling idea from a safe distance.

Update: I found the McClane-wasp and finally dispatched him.  At least I think it was the same wasp.  A constant stream of new wasps popping up in my bathroom is an idea too terrifying to contemplate.

~ by smwilliams on August 23, 2011.

3 Responses to “Bonechilling Ideas Close Up”

  1. I have a spider living in the drivers side mirror of my car. I find what’s left of her late night debauchery every morning and then have to deal with the fact that she’s probably watching me through the crack under the mirror as I drive. Oh the horror.

  2. Come to think of it, there is a huge spider living in the back of my mailbox that occasionally lunges at me when I get the mail. This place is just so terrifying that I didn’t even to think of writing about it, what with everything else going on.

  3. […] I’ve mentioned before, I have finally found and destroyed McClane-wasp, but he was a worthy foe.  So it is with a heavy […]

Comments are closed.